Dear Angel;

Sunday, December 14, 2008

i'm not running

Well, I don’t know where to start. Can my day get any worse? Herman is suppose to be back from uk today. But somehow the plane he was in broke down and their still stranded in Dubai. Lucky him. :)

I guess you wont understand much if I told you the reason I’m totally down right now is because he failed me. So, lets start from the beginning, shall we?

On October 18th,2006(yeah, that’s the last day of pmb ’06 exam) I promised this guy I would choose between him and his friend. His name was Bazli. They were both nice guys. But I guess, I liked bazli more than I liked his friend. A year passed, and we were still going strong. I liked him a lot. He was charming, and kind of cute in his own ways. I found it very flattering how he would say or do things to me that he wouldn’t to others. I swear, he was perfect for me. But others wouldn’t agree and may even be surprised. Bazli is a year older than me, born on May 20th, 1991, but academically, I was far higher than him. I’m not trying to brag or anything. But it’s the truth. I have just finished o’ level, and him with his PMB. Yeah, he’s in form 3. Honestly, I didn’t care. But I bet people who cared about me would mind, especially mummy or nana. So, me and baz decided that we would both part ways if baz was to fail his pmb exam this year. He worked really hard, because he is also aware that if me and him were to break-up, he wont have another chance with me. But I guess, forever just isn’t the word for us.

2008 PMB results were out two days ago, but Baz just got it today. And it turned out, he failed.
Wow. . . I could swear I heard my heart stopped beating that very moment. Both, me and baz really didn’t see it coming. He was so happy when he came out the exam hall, assuring me that he knew most of the answers to the question. I really didn’t see it coming.

Baz: So?what now?

Edah: hmph. i guess its over. no more bazedz forever huh?
Baz: shit. I feel so stupid. Semua urang cakap banar, me buduh.
Edah: so, friends?
Baz: one more chance, please? I really love you.

Edah: . . . . . . . . . .
Baz: bah, okay. That’s fine. Just lari from me okay. Leave me.
Edah: hmm…I don’t wanna run. . . I think I’m gonna walk.
Baz: WALK???

Edah: yeah, just walk. I want you to catch up.
Baz: entah lah.
Edah: I made my choice. I’m letting you go. Now its your turn. You pilih lah if
you wanna give up or are you gonna work harder and catch up?

I know maybe this whole thing is kind of silly. But this is how we decided it to be and it is dead serious. Its not a joke. And just yesterday I was telling wardah about our wedding, and family plans. Oh, how I wish those plans wouldn’t go down the drain. I really like all those plans. And I like the names of the new babies –to-come.

Hmm. . . I guess that’s a way to explain the situation. I hope he’ll catch up. I hope he really is THE one for me. Because I like him, a lot . . . .

even when we're far apart, we will always have one thing in common. mumble (: